Splish, Splash, Two Toddlers in the Bath

And yes, that is shaving cream. I love those two!

My life is.....

a sweet little boy with so much love to give



and

a little princess who knows she rules the world at 2



That is my life. Throughout the drama, the anger, the pain, everything, they are what matter. I look at them and instantly my day gets better. I know what they mean when they talk about giving your life in order to let them keep theirs. I would do anything for these two.

I got 99 problems and my weight is one......

I used to think in high school that I was fat. Compared to my friends who were size 0's and 2's, yeah, my size 14 self was bigger than they were. I'd love to go back in time and smack the past me in the head. I look back at pictures and realize that I wasn't that bad. It was just because I wasn't as small as they were. I still could wear American Eagle and Aeropostle. And oh how did I have a love affair with AE's petite flared jeans. It's like they were made just for me. They were the perfect length for my little 5 foot self.

Fast forward through the freshman god only knows how many, two children and postpartum depression.

I no longer am the size 14 that I hated, which now love. I'll put it out there. I'm a 20. Gah. I got an ass that would rival most. And not in a good way.

I'm starting small....cutting back on what I eat, I gave up 95% my love affair with coke and started drinking more water. I've added in a protein shake here and there. Baby steps.

My initial goal is 25 lbs. When I get brave enough to step on the scale, I'll let you know because it's all about being accountable. I need to do this.

I have found a new love for my drinks. Ocean Spray makes the little water packets in Blueberry Lemonade and Blueberry Pomegranate. Swoon. The second is just to die for. I'm still finding my love for the lemonade, but only because I never have been a lemonade person.

25lbs.

I can do it. Now, who wants to get me a gym membership or Zumba????

Invisible monthly friend??

So, shortly after I popped out Aslynn, I knew something had to be done because two babies in two years was more than what my uterus wanted. Me and my uterus, we have this connection, that's how we roll. After consulting my family oracle, aka my sister, we decided that an IUD would be my best bet because obviously that fabulous little pill didn't want to be my friend.

So, me and her trek into my OB's office on that fateful day. Monica could honestly tell you how many times my eyes rolled back into my head as Dr. Aguayo either pulled out some cervical clamps or even so much as played with the IUD insertion wand.

So...fast forward. I spotted for a while and then what once plagued me every damn month like clockwork was gone. No, I am by no means crazy enough to complain.

But I'll be damned if mother nature doesn't like to play games. She is a sneaky little b*tch if I do say so myself. No, I may not bleed every month but lord, if I don't get pissy and break out still. Damnit, I want my cake and to be able to eat it to, but again obviously that is mother nature's way of telling me my ass is too big.

Now, yes, my significant other is a lazy bastard but out of nowhere today, after coming home from the grocery store, I get pissy. WTF and where did that come from. I no longer wanted to cook, yet alone look at my kitchen or any room for that matter. I just wanted to leave out the back door and vanish. I was pissed. I was spiteful through every fork that I washed or any other chore that I did.

And in looking at the calendar I notice that yes, had I still bled to death every month, it would be starting roughly in the next few days.

But in all other words....I.Love.My.Mirena!

Fictional Reality

That's the perfect oxymoron right there.

When I was little, I dreamed of what life would be like when I was older. I'd be happily married with kids and wouldn't have to worry about pretty much anything.

BAH!

What the hell was I thinking??????

Seriously though, if I could go back in time, I would smack the younger me upside the head and drill some sense into me.

Now though before I go any further, I love my children and I wouldn't change having them for anything in the world. I don't regret them.

Life doesn't go according to plan. Aren't we always told that? Well, shit no, obviously it doesn't. Because if it did. I would have a fat Nuclear Engineering Degree from UT-Knoxville hopefully working somewhere making a career.

Instead, the only perfect thing in my life are my two children. I spend my days teaching and learning from them or deep in my crafts. Children and crafts...hmm...that wasn't part of my original plan either.

Damn.

I've made a promise to myself that this roller coaster ride is about to end. My emotions can't take anymore and I can't pretend to be happy. It's actually starting to hurt.

I don't like change. AT.ALL. I need this change or else I don't know what will happen.

Fictional Reality. If only..right?

Holy Jesus, I'm alive

I know you missed me. My loyal, what, 3 readers or so? And really, I have 2 that I talk with on a near constant basis, and I just spent a month with one of them so really, 1 loyal reader who is out of the loop.

To give you a brief update on my life since my last post

• We had the kids joint birthday party. My aunt and uncle who live in Myrtle Beach came. Asshat and stepwitch didn't. Surprise, surprise. That's another post for another day. Trust.Me. The kids were loaded up with toys and clothes galore. They had the best present ever of having their Grammy there to see it all.
• 90% of the world learned, that already didn't know, that I am unhappy in my situation. Again, another post, another day. I'll keep you wondering for now.
• Stating the obvious, I have the most precious children on the planet, and without them, I would be lost.
• And this one actually happened prior to my last post, but it was still a little on the down low. I became an aunt to an angel. My lovely sister, after 4 years of trying, conceived, only to have discovered butterbean nesting nicely in her tube. It's a grieving process for her and I try to be there when she wants me. And no matter what others say, she became a mother and I an aunt.
  
• I'm currently blogging with the giggles of two supposed to be in bed children as my background noise. I.Freaking.Love.Those.Kids.
• I've laughed. I've cried. I've slept. I've not slept. I've crafted.
• I've been a mom to two children in diapers. Potty training is a slow process.