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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Happy Birthday Aslynn Grace

Dear, sweet, Aslynn Grace, where do I begin. Ever since I was pregnant with you, you have definitely shown that you are a princess and demand attention. I shed many tears over you while you were growing inside of me. First there was the excessive bleeding, which caused me to think I was losing you. That turned out to be a bigger scare for me, Placenta Previa. At that point in time, I dreamed of nothing but having another wonderful vaginal birth, which it seemed I wouldn't get this time. I was put on modified bed rest to make sure that you stayed put and safe. Monthly visits turned into high-risk bi-weekly visits to monitor the movement of the placenta if any. Your Aunt MiMi tried to convince me that it was alright to have a c-section, bless her.

Here is where you decided that you wanted to be stubborn and not let Dr. Aguayo see everything she needed to see to make sure you were developing properly. That led to a frantic call to MiMi and a trip to the Center for Imaging Excellence to see what the Radiologist could see. That hour, sweet girl, should have been enough to send me into labor right then. I remember how the Radiologist and the tech were oh so quiet and just stared at the screen as they scanned. It would be days before I knew anything, even if you were alright. You just wanted attention. You were just as healthy as you needed to be. It was observed that my previa was worse that they thought but we would just play it as it came.

You grew and grew, and boy did my belly show how you were growing. Countless trips to L&D for countless, serious false alarms were made but because I still had the previa, no contraction could be ignored. At this time, I had convinced myself that as long as you were healthy, I didn't care how you came into this world. I think you heard me and took that to heart.

Your brother's first birthday came and went, and thankfully, I was still pregnant with you. The question though was would you make it until your due date of July 4th. I knew I didn't want a holiday baby, but it was up to you. On the night of your brother's birthday, I broke my toe, and not just any toe, but my pinky toe and it just so happened to be the bone in the foot. Fabulous. By now, we were 98% sure that the previa had cleared, so I was given the go ahead for another vaginal birth with the disclaimer that if I started to bleed or anything showed you in distress then I would be whisked off to the OR.

I knew from word of mouth and such that the 2nd time goes a lot quicker. I took that to heart but I had no idea. The morning of the 23rd I started having serious contractions. They were unlike the ones I had experienced with your brother at that. I decided that it was time to go in. We got to the hospital around 6am. We got checked in and I was changed and confined to the bed. Oh dear girl, you were an interesting labor. You refused to allow us to keep a monitor on you, but we needed to because your heart was scaring us to death. Dr. Aguayo came in roughly around 7 and I was 4 and 50%. My water had already somewhat broken so she finished it off and we got an internal monitor on you. You didn't like that one bit. By 8 my contractions were completely unbearable. I needed that epidural. You had other plans. Between 8:45 and 11:59, I had had 4 epidurals, none of which were working and you weren't making labor any easier. Your poor father had never seen me like that. There was no channeling my thoughts to get through the contractions. Their were fierce and painful.

On the last attempt at an epidural words were spoken of a spinal. I was game for anything at this point. The Anesthesiologist and the nurse spoke, the nurse was okay with it because currently I was 7 and 100%. I had time she said. I had time for the Dr. to get there. Famous.Last.Words. No sooner than I was told I would be getting the spinal, I stopped her mid-sentence and "I think I have to push". "No you don't, you just think you have to." "No, I've done this before, and I feel pressure, I HAVE TO PUSH." I think at that point as the nurse was flying to check me she may have said " Oh Shit"

So needless to say, I went from 7 to 10 in a matter of seconds. You wanted to make your arrival something. You succeeded little girl. Although Dr. Aguayo's office was just behind the hospital, she didn't have time. You came out into the world like a rocket, only after 3 pushes, into the hands of the nurse with the Anesthesiologist serving as the nurse at 11:59. We won't even remind you of the fact that I still had this broken bone in my foot which I had to push against your fathers hand which. Yea, that hurt. So, sweet girl, lets recap the days events. Fast labor-roughly 6 hours, completely natural-that was an experience, broken foot bone and pushing and being delivered with no OB in site. Dr. Aguayo won the bet of when you would show up. She said before lunch, and well it was before lunch.

You weighed a dainty 6lbs 7oz and was 21 inches long. You had a head full of dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. You were so tiny. You still are to this day. Dainty. Although I think you might just pass your brother in height over the next year.

You no longer have brown hair, but your eyes are still as blue as the day you were born. You've been a princess since the day you were conceived and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. You love having your nails painted and your hair done and love wearing pretties.

I love you, Aslynn Grace, more than you will ever imagine. You and I share a connection that your brother will never understand.

Monday, June 7, 2010

To the sweetest boy in the world

Today, 3 years ago at 3:59 pm, I had the pleasure of becoming a mother. I gave birth to a beautiful little boy who weighed in at 7lbs 11oz and was 21 inches long. Little did I know that during the course of these next three years he would have the ability to steal my heart over and over, time and time again. Over these past three years we have overcome many obstacles with him, some more heartbreaking than others, but I wouldn't have it any other
way. Little did we know that over this course, at just a fragile age of a year and a half, you would be attacked by a dog to the face and require your first major surgery. Little did we know that just after you turned 2 would we start speech therapy because you wouldn't talk. Little did we know that just a year later after the attack you would be diagnosed with a conductive hearing loss bilaterally that could be fixed by surgery for tubes. You, Brayden, since then have blossomed into the sweetest, most loving little boy who knows who his family is and isn't afraid to show them love. You try and speak non-stop now and are just a heartbreaker. You will start pre-school in the fall and I just don't know what to do. You are growing up entirely way to fast for me. I will never forget the feeling I had the first moment I looked into your beautiful blue eyes that June afternoon. I knew then that I was in love. Granted you were a "stinky boy" and not the little girl I was told I was having, I wouldn't change it. I may have cried to no end on the day I found that out but I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I want nothing but the best in life for you, Brayden. I want you to grow up smart and strong and with a fierce determination to succeed in life. I want you to want to take life by the horns and show it who is boss.

I love you Brayden Victor, more than you will ever understand!