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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Fictional Reality

That's the perfect oxymoron right there.

When I was little, I dreamed of what life would be like when I was older. I'd be happily married with kids and wouldn't have to worry about pretty much anything.

BAH!

What the hell was I thinking??????

Seriously though, if I could go back in time, I would smack the younger me upside the head and drill some sense into me.

Now though before I go any further, I love my children and I wouldn't change having them for anything in the world. I don't regret them.

Life doesn't go according to plan. Aren't we always told that? Well, shit no, obviously it doesn't. Because if it did. I would have a fat Nuclear Engineering Degree from UT-Knoxville hopefully working somewhere making a career.

Instead, the only perfect thing in my life are my two children. I spend my days teaching and learning from them or deep in my crafts. Children and crafts...hmm...that wasn't part of my original plan either.

Damn.

I've made a promise to myself that this roller coaster ride is about to end. My emotions can't take anymore and I can't pretend to be happy. It's actually starting to hurt.

I don't like change. AT.ALL. I need this change or else I don't know what will happen.

Fictional Reality. If only..right?

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